What's your legacy?

        It's been done on so many sit- coms: the guy wants to find out what people really think about him. He wants to know what his reputation is. He wants to see what his legacy to the world would be and what his life has meant. So he fakes his own death. The scene is usually the chapel or the living room where the coffin is in the middle and his family and friends are eulogising.  "He was a grumpy so and so!" he hears someone say. "Never had a good word for anyone."

Well, you don't have to go quite so far. Besides, fake funerals are pretty expensive......so I've  heard. There is a coaching method that's just as good. You can do the same thing using your imagination. Now it may seem a bit morbid. Most people do not like to think about death, especially not their own.   However people who have recovered from life threatening illnesses or accidents often say that the quality of their life afterwards dramatically increases. It's as though not only has the black and white picture turned to colour but the resolution and the volume has turned up too.  I can vouch for that sentiment from my own personal experience with kidney failure and post transplant. It isn't just physical either because for me the psychology started before I even had my transplant. In the book I'm writing at the moment about a Warrior Woman called Wendy who's going through the same thing    Wendy says "health is wasted on the healthy" . You could add that maybe life is wasted on the living. All this isn't meant to be morbid. The question is does this quality of experience and life have to be exclusive to those who have faced death in the.....well, " face"?

The answer is ofcourse not. It's not impossible that we take a step back from life, far from the madding crowd, close our eyes and imagine our own funeral, listening to the things being said about our lives. Who's there? Who travelled across the world to be there? Why? Who isn't there? How come they're not there? Did you want them to be there? What are they saying? Not just about you as a person from their experience of you, but what did you seem to stand for? What did you believe in? How did that belief and those values run your life. Where did you spend most of your time and energy? Doing what? With whom? What impact did you have on their lives? What did you mean? What did you do that you were most proud of?

Having asked these questions the big question is so what is your legacy?

How did you find that exercise? Did you like the things you saw or were there things that made you feel uncomfortable? What would you want to do with that feeling? Feeling uncomfortable is great. It is a commonly held view that when you experience a little disquiet about your life it means you have an opportunity to make a life changing decision. This could be the moment that propels you into the most compelling future and remember that it just takes one step in the right direction. To know what that direction should be we need to set great goals, take charge, identify our true beliefs, values and passions. We need to set ourselves little goals along the way that lead us to the end goals we want to achieve. We need to commit to take action in that first step. We need to make sure we are living a life on purpose.

The late Stephen Covey who clearly lived an inspired life on purpose encouraged us all to "start with the end in mind" in his " 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Perhaps the reason that those who have faced the reality of the end time only to get a second chance at life often feel they live more fulfilled and happy lives is because they've looked from the end back and it's challenged them to start living with the big picture in mind everyday. However, everyone can have a slice of that pie. You don't have to be diagnosed with a life threatening illness. After all that's a rather expensive way to learn about your legacy.

Having answered these questions the big overall question is " so what has your legacy been?"
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